It takes a lot of self-love and a strong sense of self-worth to stay single in a world designed for couples. Rolling solo when all your friends are coupled up is even harder, whether you dream of having a relationship or not. It’s never easy to be the odd one out! Here are 12 realities of being the only single one in your friend group that pretty much all singletons can relate to.
Getting pity looks and pep talks
Society views being single as a negative thing; it’s something in your life to “fix.” Because of this, you sometimes get looks of pity and pep talks from your friends because you don’t have a partner when everyone else does, and that has to be tragic. You’ll get the “don’t worry, you’ll find someone” talk more than once, for sure. It happens whether you’re worried about it or not.
Being set up on terrible dates
Your friends will try to set you up on a bunch of dates with the very best intentions. They’ll bring in siblings, cousins, work colleagues, and the friends of their partners as reinforcements. Sometimes going on a set-up date is actually fun. Other times, it’s best to have a firm plan of escape in place.
Being asked why you’re single
Again with the best intentions, people (including your friends) will ask how you’re still single. “You are so pretty—how are you still single?” or “You are so smart—why don’t you have a partner?” That’s not the most fun question to answer at the best of times, since it essentially asks what’s wrong with you? Singletons get this question constantly, but even more so when their friends are all couples.
Having to third-wheel
Also having to fifth, seventh, and every other wheel too. It helps if you get along with your friends’ partners and it’s fun to hang out as a group, but being the only dateless person time and time again gets old.
Missing out on couple-only events
Sometimes the alternative to third-wheeling is getting left out. Your friends might think that you’ll be uncomfortable being the third wheel yet again and decide it’s couples only. People shouldn’t discriminate against the single life, but they do!
Becoming emotionally invested in your friends’ relationships
Since you don’t have a relationship of your own to invest your emotions into, your friends’ relationships might become all the more interesting. You’ll follow the drama like you’re watching reality TV. And for whatever reason, you’ll seem to be the first one they call in to vent their feelings to when things get rocky. But it’s okay because you love your friends and you care like it’s your relationship too.
Feeling like it’s hard to relate to your friends
You don’t need to have the same circumstances as someone else to understand them, but being the only single one can make it hard to relate to a group of partnered friends. You might feel weird opening up to them about your dating woes and you might not know how to advise them when they need relationship guidance.
Your dating life being a source of entertainment
Depending on how long your friends have been taken, they might be equally invested in your dating life as you are in their relationships. Get used to this question: “Can I look through your Bumble?”
Spending money on others and never getting it back
As Carrie Bradshaw said, “If you’re single after graduation, there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you.” If all your friends are getting married and moving in together, you’ll suddenly have to buy gifts left right and center for housewarmings, engagements, bridal showers, weddings, and baby showers. And if you don’t celebrate those milestones yourself, you get nada.
Not having anyone to go out with
Speaking of Sex and the City, the show is confirmation that the single life is a lot more fun when you have other single people to go out with. Not only is it fun to experience your city’s nightlife together, but it’s helpful to discuss your dating lives together. It’s naturally easier to bond with people who are in similar stages of life to you. Imagine if Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha had boyfriends for the show’s entire run, and Carrie had no one to enjoy (and complain about) singledom with.
Feeling like there’s something wrong with you for being single
There’s not really something wrong with you for being single. But when you are the odd one out, you might start to think that. The more you hang out with people who are exclusively in couples, the more you might feel like you’re lacking in some way because you’re different. No matter how secure you are within yourself, it’s easy to slip into that anxiety.
Making new friends
Making new friends is one of the realities of being the only single one in your group. It’s not that you have to replace your old friends. But for your own sanity, having other single people around to talk to, go out with, and just listen, is super important. No matter how much you love your friendship group, you’ll probably branch out and make some additional friends.
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